I’m not body with a soul., I’m a soul that has a visible part called the body . all this week, contrary to what one might expect, I have been more conscious of the presence of this soul than usual, it didn’t say anything to me, didn’t criticise me or feel sorry for me ; it merely watched me.
Today, i resliced why this was happening ; it’s been such a long time since i thought about love or anything called love. it seems to be running away from me, as if it wasn’t important any more and didn’t feel welcome. but if i don’t think about love, i will be nothing.
when i went back to the capacabana the second night, i was treated with much more respect – appear- entry, a lot of girls do it for one night, but can’t bear to so on. anyone who does, become a kind of ally, a colleague, because she can understand the difficulties and the reasons or, rather, the absence of reasons for having chosen this kind of life.
they all dream of someone who will come along and see in them a real women – companion, love, friend. but, they all know, from the very first moment of each new encounter , that this simply isn’t going to happen.
I need to write about love. i need to think and think and write and write about love- otherwise , my soul won’t survive.